Q: I’d like to become a Big Buddy but I already have my own children. Is this OK?
A: Depends on how old your children are and how you manage your time. Remember a Little Buddy will need your full individual attention for just a few hours a week. If you can give him this and spend time with your own children, fine.
Q: I’d like to become a Big Buddy. Does it make any difference if I am single or married?
A: No - we are more interested in who you are than who you are with.
Q: What sort of backgrounds do the boys come from?
A: All sorts! Obviously single parent families; they usually live with their mother, but sometimes their grandmother. Some of them have had relatively easy lives, while others have had it tougher but the common thing they all share is that they have no father in their life. When we negotiate the match, we tell you all we know of the boy’s background and let you make the decision.
Q: Can I talk to someone who is already a Big Buddy?
A: Sure - we can put you in contact with an experienced Big Buddy.
Q: Does it cost the Big Buddies money?
A: No. We encourage keeping the outings low cost, but if there are costs, usually the boy’s mother will contribute. It really is your decision but you are not expected to pay for everything.
Q: How long do the mentoring relationships last for?
A: Most say it is for life but we haven’t been around long enough to confirm this! Some don’t work, for a variety of reasons but most last well beyond the first year.
Q: Why don’t some matches work?
A: People have to move cities for work or family and a few men or boys discover mentoring is not for them.
Q: One of the character referees you ask for is a woman relative who is not my mother; what happens if I don’t have any?
A: A women who knows you well over time will be fine.
Q: But I don’t know any women well enough for them to give me a character reference.
A: We would then question your credibility as a male role model!
Q: What about religious preferences?
A: We make no judgements either way but if religious preference is important to either party in this relationship, we take that on board in matching Buddies.
Q: What about cultural differences?
A: We have no policy either way. Sometimes same culture matches work best, sometimes cross-cultural matches work best. We try to respect everyone’s concerns in this and ask that everyone be honest and we make no judgements either way.
Q: I’m married - what part would my wife play in this?
A: What part does she want to play? So long as you remember the primary relationship will be between you and your Little Buddy then your other relationships will find a right place.
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